You’ve probably heard a lot about trying to maintain a good work-life balance lately. As we’ve all continued on with lockdown, walking the invisible boundary between work and home life can sometimes be precarious. But what about finding the right work-parenting balance?

When you have kids at home, however young or old, it can be a real challenge to find time for them, as well as your work and ‘home’ life, beyond parenting. Whatever your circumstances, chances are you’ve probably experienced moments where you’ve felt overwhelmed by it all. You may have had those moments (or days) where you’ve felt like you’ve not actually done anything properly, including parenting.

So, what do you do? How do you find that magical balance everyone keeps talking about?

There’s no simple answer. My experience had been one of trial and error. Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance which suits you and your personal circumstances.

For me, it was about making better use of my time and adjusting my mindset and perspective. I’d reached a point where I felt I was trying to do everything, but actually succeeding in doing none of it well. My brain felt as though it never shut off and rested. I felt like I was constantly spreading myself far too thin, that there was never enough time (is there ever?) and that I was permanently tired. Not just parenting tired, but mentally drained.

The solution in my case was to divide my time into appropriate work/playtime blocks. I had to be realistic about the amount of time I would likely be able to work for uninterrupted, as well as factor in some extra time for unexpected events or delays in my work. Similarly, the times I work can often be a little strange, but the important thing is that it works for us.

Because I know I’ve scheduled in all my work hours, I’m free to spend time playing with my son without worrying about when I’ll get my work finished. It also allows me to plan enough meaningful activities with him during our play time together so that, when I do have to work, he’s happy to spend some time doing something independently. I feel less guilty about my time working and am more focused when I do work.

There were even a few extra bonuses. I found I had a little more free time available than before; I managed sleep better because my mind could actually turn off and rest; I felt less stressed and generally much happier.

There are still days when it goes a bit pear-shaped. It’s still hard work. Settling down and focusing on work for short windows of time can sometimes be a real challenge and requires a fair amount of discipline. Sometimes the plan goes entirely out of the window. But that’s ok too.

I’m happy to declare that I’m not superhuman and certainly not perfect. But instead of beating myself up about it, I choose to see it as a work-in-progress.

So, if your work-parenting balance is not quite where you would like it to be, take a moment to consider what, within your control, you could do to fix it. What would your ideal scenario be? How close to that can you get? You may have to make compromises along the way (cue some bizarre work times), but the reward may also be better than you expected.

Finding balance is hard work at the best of times. In these frankly insane times, it’s harder than normal. So, don’t be afraid to experiment a little and find a structure, a routine, a rhythm that works for you, no matter how unusual. Give yourself permission to try something new and to have it fail. If it does, try something different. Each attempt will reveal something useful.

And if you don’t quite find that perfect balance, just remember you’re not alone. Most of us are still looking for it too.

Feel free to share suggestions, ideas and experiences in the comments below or join me over on Twitter @TalkMummy or Instagram @mummytalkcoffee. As always, please feel free to share this post!